


Fight for This

by Whystickaround



Category: Grace and Frankie
Genre: Angst, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-24
Updated: 2018-07-24
Packaged: 2019-06-15 15:49:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15416343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whystickaround/pseuds/Whystickaround
Summary: Frankie may be a pacifist but she can fight when she needs to. And she’s not letting Grace leave without a fight.





	Fight for This

**Author's Note:**

> Is mediocre content better than no content? The answer is yes. Tell me what you think! I wanted to take a closer look at how Graces brain operates, because I think we all relate to her a little too much.

“A what?”

“You heard me. You’re not deaf yet.” Grace had been avoiding eye contact since breaking the news, busying herself with the task of cleaning the already spotless kitchen. 

“Why though? Why him?”

“I don’t know why you didn’t see this coming Frankie. What did you think? We’d just keep doing... this,” Grace motions her hand back and forth between them, “forever?”

The words hit Frankie square in the chest. She knows her answer shows on her face. Grace stays cool and distant, and it’s almost worse than the revelation itself. 

“Oh come on, we both knew this would happen. This was a temporary thing, isn’t that what we agreed?”

Frankie feels the coldness of Grace’s indifference run down her spine. 

“But why would you want to get married again though? Haven’t you put up with enough shit from men?”

“Because it’s what people do Frankie! People get married. To men. It’s what they do- it’s what I do! I know you don’t like him but I don’t see too many other men knocking on our door, do you? This is my last chance. And it’s not even an engagement. It’s a pre engagement. We’re engaged to be engaged I suppose” Grace is trying very little to mask her frustration now. 

“Well gee Grace, I didn’t know you had such an empty hole in your life.” Frankie spouts, standing from her chair. The room suddenly felt very small and she bites the urge to run out the front door. 

Grace sighs and turns towards her. Her eyes are dark and she opens her mouth to speak before deciding against it and turning her back to Frankie. She places her hands on the counter and looks out the window towards the beach. 

Frankie stands slowly and walks towards her. Grace’s body tenses as she gets closer but she doesn’t turn around. Frankie wraps her arms around her midsection and places her head on her shoulder. 

“I’m not doing this to hurt you.” Grace whispers. 

“I know that... but, it does.”

Grace looks towards the freezer and Frankie knows she wants to make herself a drink. Wants to forget this conversation and her engagement and the hot air swirling around their bodies pressed together. 

“Does he make you happier than me?” 

Grace hesitates, “It’s not a competition.” She says finally, defeated. 

But how can it not be? Frankie is so happy here, with Grace. So happy having Grace to herself. When Grace first kissed her, drunkenly, months ago, Frankie felt like the goddess was finally showing her kindness. She felt that she must’ve done something right to deserve the feelings Grace stirred up in her belly, something Jacob or even Sol never did. That she had suffered tremendously at the hands of Sol and now it was her turn at happiness. She didn’t even question that it was with another woman, but of course Grace doesn’t see this as her end-all. Of course Grace, always the same, insists on following some bullshit cultural norm just because she feels it’s what she should do. 

With her arms still around her, Frankie moves Grace’s hair, exposing her neck. She breathes lightly and feels Grace shiver in her arms. She presses her lips to the soft skin. 

“Frankie...”

Frankie continues to press soft kisses along Grace’s neck, showing delicate attention to the sensitive patch of flesh behind Grace’s ear. She knows she should stop, but she doesn’t. She moves her hand up from Grace’s hip to her breast and feels Grace melt into the touch. 

“Does he make you feel like this?” She whispers into her neck and Grace lets out a soft mewl. 

“Frankie-“ Grace chokes, “I can’t do this.” But she makes no effort to move away from Frankie’s touch. 

“Does he fuck you like I fuck you?” Frankie sucks Grace’s earlobe into her mouth and when she grazes it with her teeth Grace gasps. She knows this is wrong, but she can’t stop herself. Her left hand is still caressing and pinching Grace’s left breast and she can feel the rise and fall of Grace’s chest as her breathing quickens. Grace grinds her hips into Frankie slowly, almost as if against her own will. 

“Does he love you like I do?” She asks finally and the seductive coo is replaced with such a sadness even she can hear it. Grace whips around in her arms and kisses her firmly on the lips. 

“Frankie. No one has ever loved me like you have.” She says, low and serious. 

“Then why are you leaving me?” Frankie whispers and feels the tears burn along her waterline. 

Grace goes to move away from her grasp and Frankie pulls her back in and crashes their lips together again. She backs Grace against the refrigerator and she knows it hits hard against her because Grace bites down on Frankie’s bottom lip. She doesn’t feel the moan until it’s out in the room. Grace takes Frankie’s hands and links them with her own. She leans her head back against the cool steel and closes her eyes. 

“Because... because I don’t... deserve this.” 

Frankie steps back and Grace’s body instinctually follows before she stops it and collapses back against the fridge. Frankie rips her hands away and Grace looks at her, visibly startled. 

“You don’t deserve this? You don’t DESERVE this? How dare you?” She demands and Grace stares at her with a total lack of words. 

“Friggin hell Hanson I can’t believe that’s what this is about. You’re punishing yourself, again. For what, the bazillionth time? Fuck.” Frankie finds herself pacing in front of the other woman. She presses her hand to her sternum, but it does little to silence the rage bursting from her veins. 

“Listen- okay? We all know how goddamn much you love to suffer. Suffering is like a freaking food source to you but JEEZ GRACE you’re not just hurting yourself this time. Because you know what? Hurting me isn’t even the start of it. You’re hurting Nick if you marry him just because it’s the image you want to present to the world, you’re hurting your daughters if you show them that self sacrifice is the key to life, you’re hurting our business, which I know you think I don’t care about but you’re wrong. And you know what? You’re hurting Babe. Because she would be just as angry with you as I am right now and you know it.”

As she rants Frankie feels like she’s going to throw up. This isn’t at all how she wanted this to go. This isn’t at all how she wanted to show Grace that their relationship held its own weight, that it wasn’t something to be dismissed as an interim solution to their respective heterosexual lives. 

She sees the flash of something in Grace’s eyes and for a split naive second she thinks it might be remorse. 

“I need to sit down.” Is all she says and she briskly walks out of the room, but before Frankie can decide if she should follow her or not she storms back in with her hands up. 

“No you know what Frankie? You listen. This is MY life okay? You can sit on that fucking high horse and pretend my coping mechanisms are worse than yours but you’re fooling yourself. You think I run away from my fears? Look in the mirror! You spent 40 years married to a gay man and you refused to let yourself see it. You ran away from all those nagging questions in your head didn’t you? I at least have the decency to admit I stayed for my own image but what excuse do you have other than textbook cowardice? And Jacob? Huh? What happened there Frankie? Did things get too serious too fast and your blood couldn’t pump enough organic mulch to keep up?”

“How dare you bring up Jacob like you had nothing to do with it? He made me choose between you or him and I chose you! And now you won’t even entertain the thought of choosing me back?”

“Life isn’t a fucking take a penny leave a penny jar Frankie. I don’t owe you for making that choice. I think we both know you made the wrong one.” Grace’s voice is settling down but Frankie isn’t done arguing yet. 

“There you go again! With the self pity!”

“It’s not self pity- it’s how I feel. I don’t deserve you Frankie so I’m doing what I need to do, I’m releasing you.”

“I never asked to be released.” They’re both speaking in normal tones again and Frankie’s ears ring from the white noise surrounding them. 

Grace stares at her, the fight gone completely from her small frame. All that’s left is the mould of a broken woman. 

“I never asked to be released.” She whispers again and that time it does it; the tears spill from Grace’s eyes and it’s all Frankie can do to refrain from wrapping her in her arms. 

“I thought I was doing you a favour.” Her voice so low Frankie has to watch her lips carefully for it to register. 

“Grace look at me. Living without you will never be in my best interest. That’s not an opinion, that’s a fact. But if you choose him I can’t stay in your life. It will kill me. It will kill me to watch you torture yourself.”

Grace’s body collapses into one of the dining room chairs and she lays her head down on the table. Frankie watches her back rise and fall and the thought of this house being anyones but theirs together makes her feel dizzy. The thought of Grace’s love belonging to someone else fills her with an ache she can’t even begin to describe. 

“Can you come here please?” She hears muffled from across the room and she walks over and half wraps her arms around Grace’s body. It’s awkward with the back of the chair in the way but Grace pulls her arms in closer and Frankie knows she would stay in this half squat position for hours if Grace needed her to. As long as she stays. 

But Grace doesn’t ask her to, instead she stands up from the chair and envelopes Frankie into a real hug. 

“I don’t want to ever be without you.” Grace whispers and it doesn’t beg for a response. It just sits comfortably in the air. 

Eventually though, the silence gets to her. 

“I know this sounds like a load of bologna to your beautiful mentally ill brain but I really do love you more than you hate yourself. And I’m not letting you give up on this because you’re scared of it okay?”

“I love you. I’m so embarrassed about all of this. And I’m not even drunk this time.”

“Hey, don’t be. If I wanted easy I’d be on a yam farm in Santa Fe.” Grace goes to pull away, “I’m kidding! I’m kidding! It’s still me after all, I can be all serious and argumentative but I’m not as well practiced as you are missy- I’m kidding! Again! Kind of.” 

Grace laughs at that, a genuine laugh teeming with relief. And then she kisses Frankie with determination, as if trying to say all that she doesn’t have words for. 

“Grace?”

“Hmm?”

“Does it make me a bad person that I kind of want to fuck you while you’re technically still engaged?”

“Engaged to be engaged. What a stupid concept anyway. I didn’t even get a ring. That’s the best part of it all.”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“No Frances,” Grace coos, “I don’t think you’ll be excluded from hippie heaven. Especially if I encourage you. Then it’s not even your fault.”

It’s all the encouragement Frankie needs and she pounces with the ferocity of a caged animal, her body rushing with adrenaline from the cornucopia of emotions in the past hour. When she feels Grace’s lips against hers the goddess weeps for what was almost lost today. When her hand wanders down and down and down she says a silent prayer thanking her for the complicated woman that stands before her. This woman, whose moans will forever be her absolution.


End file.
